I Shall Scream My Lies
by L1viNbyAm0meNt
Summary: Jaden is hiding a horrid secret from his friends and his new found love, Jesse. What happens at a party with a jealous ex - Chazz Princeton - turns into a nightmare Jaden is frightened to tell anyone about. Rating will change in later chapters!


**_Ahh! First Story on FF! Wow! Such an exciting day! : D Kind of nerve racking. No, I'm just being melodramatic. I just hope you all don't completely hate this story, so I just made this a prologue so you can all read then decide if it sucks or if it's good. I really hope you think it's good because I can feel that this is going to be a good story. I CAN FEEL IT! WOO! Sorry, I had some slim jims and redbull just a few hours ago and their effects are still kicking. : D ahhhhaaaa! _**

**_Oh, I want to make sure you all know that the rating on this story WILL change. I just don't know when. So, warning, there is rape/sexual abuse in this. So, all of you who are kinda....'eh' about that, I've been warned!_**

**_Anyway I know you are just DIEING to get to the story so I'll stop talking. _**

**_Enjoy!_**

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I walk through the hallway aimlessly. Zombie-like. I stumble through the crowd of people. I'm beyond the state of panic. My mind has gone blank because I don't know what to do. That didn't happen. There was no way that just happened. Not to me. Not with him. My heart is racing. I can't breathe. My eyes are bloodshot. I've been crying. I try to search for a familiar face. Where is Alexis? Where is Syrus? Where is anybody? No one seems to notice me. My stomach is twisted into knots. I'm going to be sick. Everything is spinning.

Pain is coursing through my body every time I take a step. I hold my abdomen as I limp through the hallway. My hands are shaking against my ruffled shirt. I feel the aftermath of the incident still wet on my thighs. Thinking about it made my eyes sting with tears. I want to scream. I want to tell someone. But, I can't. I'm not supposed to. Bad things will happen if I say anything. I heard that straight from the horse's mouth.

I wanted out of this house. I wanted to go home. I want Jesse. Where is Jesse? I want my Jesse. He was with Aster. I remember. They were outside on the patio. I quicken my pace. I'm pushing through people. I want to go home. Someone take me home. I don't want to be here! I want out of this fucking house! I hate this house! I hate everything about it! The lavish rooms and the stupid plasma screens. The stainless steel kitchen and the high ceiling. Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

I slide open the screen door and stomp out into the warm summer night. People were outside by the bonfire while others were laughing and squealing in happiness. Not a single care in the world. I was the only one here that wasn't laughing. I scan the backyard to try and find Jesse. My world was spinning too much. I couldn't see. I stumble around the cement patio and scream hoarsely for Jesse.

"Jesse! Jesse!"

I look around some more, but no such luck. I call out his name some more. My voice grows louder and louder in panic. Where is he? Damn it Andersen, where are you? I'm flustered and frustrated. I can't think straight. I'm wondering around this huge backyard not knowing what I was doing or where I was going. For a moment I forgot what I was searching for.

After a few minutes of screaming and tears I see Jesse standing off to the side of the house with Aster Pheonix, Zane Truesdale, Alexis Rhodes, and Atticus Rhodes. I ponder where Syrus was, but his location was the last thing on my mind. I wobble over to Jesse who was laughing with everyone else while sipping on his drink. Again, I was the only one not having a good time. Now I was about to ruin everyone else's.

I quickly wipe my eyes to get rid of the tears. I can't let them know. Remember what he said to you. You can't tell. No one will believe me. Don't bother. Just get out of here. My bloodshot eyes will only let them think I had too much to drink.

"Jesse!" I cry out for him.

He turned to face me with a smile on his face. Everyone in the group raised their plastic cups in the air and greeted me as I approached the small crowd. I don't acknowledge them. I'm only focused on Jesse. His emerald eyes were like my rescue. Making me forget about everything. I suddenly feel like everything was okay. But, that high only lasted for a few moments before I crash landed back to earth.

He walks over to me and wraps a loving arm around my shoulder, pulling me close. His scent is comforting. He was wearing cologne tonight. I wrap my arms around his waist and hold him tightly. I want to cry. I want to tell him what happened, but I keep my mouth shut out of fear. I just want him to hold me. I just want to feel safe in his arms. I want all of this to go away. Everything was happening so fast. I couldn't comprehend.

"Hey, Jay! You enjoying the party?" Jesse asks cheerfully.

I didn't beat around the bush in answering him. "I want to go home," I whispered.

"Home?" He glances down at me, his voice hinting a bit of surprise. "Why?"

"I don't feel good."

"Aw!" Atticus hollered, "Looks like someone had a little too much drinky-drinky. Just look at his eyes." He proceeded to jab two fingers at my red eyeballs to show everyone his amazing discovery.

"Are you going to be sick, Jaden?" Alexis asks with concern. "You want me to take you to the bathroom?" Now, only a true friend would offer to take you to the restroom to puke your guts out if you were drunk. But, I wasn't drunk. I was in hysteria. So, I refused Alexis's offer.

Aster chuckled, a smirk plastered on his face, "How much did you have to drink, man?"

I didn't answer his question. I only rested my head on Jesse's chest and tugged on his shirt like a child, "Please, can you take me home?" I pleaded.

"Well, I was planning on staying here a few more hours…"

"Take him home, Jess." Zane stated – but more like commanded – to Jesse. I was so glad Zane wasn't an airhead. He saw how terrible I looked. My nicely tanned body was now pale. I did look ill and Zane saw that.

Jesse sighed, "Alright, come on, Jay. I'll drive you home." He waved farewell to our friends as they returned the gestures and wishing me well with my fake wasted state and my hangover that would never come. Jesse continued to hold me close to his warm body as we walked into the house. Jesse had to hold me up as I stumbled around in my bare feet.

Jesse half dragged my weak body through the overcrowded house to the front door. I stood on the landing as Jesse searched for my shoes. My body felt heavy as I continued to stand there. I had to lean back against the front oak door for support. This played into my drunk act very well. But, it was just the reality of things sinking in. Reality was settling in the pit of my stomach. This seriously was happening. What that…that bastard did actually happened not even a half hour ago. This was real. Too real. I felt my body sink to the floor as I half-fainted in trying to face the reality of things. My back is resting on the door, my arms limp at my side and my legs sprawled out of the wooden floor.

Jesse scratches his head at the pile of shoes that lay by the stairwell. None are mine.

"Um, Jaden, where did you put your shoes?"

I knew where they were and I wasn't going back to get them. There in _his _room. That shmuck's room. I wouldn't go back there. I'd rather die. "Forget about them," I said in a sleepy and whiney voice.

Jesse went to protest, but I spoke before he could.

"I don't care about them!" I hollered, unintentionally. "I want to go home! Just take me home! I hate this stupid party!" My anger was coming in a displaced way. My frustration was leaking out and I was lashing it on Jesse over shoes. I just needed to take a calming breath and relax the best I could.

"Okay, okay!" Jesse said quickly and walked over to me.

I extended my arms up to Jesse and he took my hands and hoisted me up like I was lighter than a feather. He pulls me up too quickly and my head throbs as my stomach lurches this way and that. The pain is growing. I fall into Jesse's arms and he quickly catches me.

"Woa, woa. Easy there, Jay." He lifts me to my feet. He tries to help me walk, but my body feels like jell-o. Jesse sees that I was in no condition to walk myself to the car so takes a deep breath before scooping me up in his muscular arms. He bends his knees slightly to level himself with the doorknob as he twists it open. He kicks the door open with his foot and carries me out into the night. He doesn't bother to shut the front door. He just figures someone else will notice and close it.

I close my eyes and wrap my arms around his neck and nuzzle my head into his shoulder blade. I'm suddenly crying as we finally leave this dreaded house. I sob silently into Jesse's shirt. I'm ashamed. I'm broken. I'm confused. The tears are pouring out of my eyes and I know Jesse notices that I'm crying all over his sleeve. He says nothing. Somehow I think he knew that I wasn't sobbing because I was drunk. My fingers twist and tangle in his shirt. I quietly whimper his name.

"Jesse…"

"Shh, it's okay." He said soothingly, "We're almost to the car."

I dared to sob just a tad bit louder for I was in for some much needed release in emotions. I wanted to just break out and weep until I couldn't breath, but I didn't want to scare Jesse. We got to Jesse's car within a few moments because I felt him set me down on the pavement. I swagger as I struggle to stand straight. I'm nauseous, but I'm holding back my vomit until I reach home.

Jesse carefully guides me to the car and gently places me in the passenger's seat. He buckles my seat belt for me as my head slumps against the car seat. Jesse is reluctant to shut the door. My half-lidded eyes gaze at his emerald ones. I watch him lean in and kiss me tenderly on the forehead before closing the door. I hear his footsteps stomp around the car until I hear him open and shut his door as he gets in beside me. Jesse pulls out his jingling keys and puts them into the ignition and started the engine. Within a second he pushes his foot against the gas petal and we were speeding off down the road.

The car ride went on slowly. It was completely silent. My head felt like it was going to explode. Jesse never asked what was wrong. I didn't think he wanted to know. I felt myself drifting in and out of consciousness. I was exhausted. I felt weak. I was sore. I cradled my lower stomach as I curled up into a ball in the car seat. I felt sickened went I moved my leg that they still felt sticky, but slowly drying. I didn't even have the energy to cringe.

My blurred vision stared blankly out the window as the lights of the city pass us by. Looking at them I start to reflect at what happened at the party, but I quickly dismiss the thought. I didn't want to think about it. I didn't want it to be true. I was in a deep state of denial. I never, _ever _thought something of this magnitude would happen to me. But, I was so...scared. I couldn't fight back. I've never felt that kind of fear before. I've never been put in that kind of situation. It was like...staring at the devil...when I looked in his malicious eyes. Merciless, uncaring, demonich.

I twist my eyes shut at the memory and just try to focus on something else. Just keep looking at the lights. Admire the lights. The thought would vanish...but never disappear.

We reach my house too quickly. I feel the car come to a stop and look at my dark house. Mom and Dad were asleep. I had to be slick and most of all - quiet. I had snuck out and gone to this party and they had no idea I was gone.

I feel the night breeze wash across my face as Jesse opened my car door. I feel his his arms hook underneath mine and pull me out of his car. He gently places me on the sidewalk right in front of my home and my eyes are rolling to the back of my head. I'm so tired. I just wanted to go to bed. I wanted to forget everything. Wake up from this terrible nightmare. Jesse grasps my shoulders and slowly leads me to the porch. It was the least he could do. Not like he could go inside with me.

We step up to my front door and Jesse stares into my sagging eyes. He is observing me. Looking at my body language. I knew Jesse was looking to see if I was actually drunk because me drinking until I'm buzzed out was not like me at all. His hand cups underneath my chin and moves my head back and forth like he was a doctor examining his patient. He eyes my neck and his mouth straightens into a hard line.

"What are these marks?" He questioned.

It was finger prints from when _he _tried to strangle me for my "disobedience". I kept my mouth shut though. I just waved my hand, brushing it all under the rug, "It's nothing. They've been there."

He knows I'm lieing. "I didn't see them earlier."

"Well, then, obviously you are not a good observer because I've had them since yesterday!" My voice was just down right hateful. Stop yelling at him! It's not his fault!

Jesse tsk-ed before speaking to me with equal harshness in his voice, "From what?"

"My dog," I lied. "What's with all the questions?"

Jesse continued to stare at my hardened, infuriated eyes. He was silent. Thoughtful. He opened his mouth to say something, but quickly shut it. He hung his head and let his hand slip from my chin. I heard him give a sigh and a look of downcast spread across his face. "Sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean to get all...defensive."

"It's okay," I mumbled. "You should go."

He simply nodded and reluctantly walked off the porch with a faint goodbye.

"See you tomorrow," I said quietly. I watched Jesse get into his rusted car and heard the engine roar to life. He was obviously still irritated by my attitude for he slammed down on the gas and ripped away from my house, tearing down the street. My lifeless eyes continued to look down the road, wishing that Jesse would come back. The wind blew my hair out of my face as I locked my arms around my body to keep warm.

Suddenly, I felt a giant wave of nausea crash into me. My stomach twisted and turned in ways it never should. I nearly fall over to the bushes and lurch over and puke into Mom's garden. Spinning. Everything is spinning. I feel myself unwillingly tumble into the memories of tonight.

_"Now, don't you think of telling anyone."_

I hear his voice in my head like nails scrapping against a chalkboard.

_"You used me like a tool and threw me aside like I was trash! And for who? Jesse! I'll show you how it feels! To be used! To feel like nothing!"_

My hand grip my skull, trying to rid of his voice that sounded so clear. Like he was standing right next to me.

_"Scream for help. No one can hear you..."_

I will scream. I'll scream because you don't want me to. I'll let it out. Right now so everyone can hear me. So, I open my mouth, take a deep breath, and let out a blood curling scream that rippled through the neighborhood all because I knew they could hear me. I sunk to my knees while holding my body and cried loudly. I was crying for myself, for my scream could not reach the people I wanted it to.

"I can't..." I sobbed. "I can't..."

I can't say anything.

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**_Alright! End of the prologue! What did you guys think? Yay? Neigh? Maybe? Should I continue? Yesh? Well review and I'll know : ) Maybe some of you have realized what "happened" and those of you who don't will soon find out in the next chapter...if you review that is. All I'm asking is for AT LEAST four reviews. If I get four I'll contiune. So, tell me what you think! No flames! But contructive critizism (SP?) is taken. _**

**_P.S. sorry I kind of left it on a cliffhanger but you know how this works. I'm suppose to torture you. So don't get made at me, get made at the government! They're a bunch of corprit bastards._**


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